Samhain Night

This is a song written by Loreena McKennitt. It gives me chills when I read it and makes me cry when I hear it.

When the moon on a cloud cast night
Hung above the tree tops' height
You sang me of some distant past
That made my heart beat strong and fast
Now I know I'm home at last

You offered me an eagle's wing
That to the sun I might soar and sing
And if I heard the owl's cry
Into the forest I would fly
And in its darkness find you by.

And so our love's not a simple thing
Nor our truths unwavering
Like the moon's pull on the tide
Our fingers touch our hearts collide
I'll be a moonsbreath by your side (3x)

Fire and Ice

I wrote this for Jeremy for our first anniversary in October of 2001. It explains how two people who are so different can need each other. I am a fire astrological sign (Leo) and he's a water sign (Pisces) and people used to tell us it would never work because of that...yeah, stupid.. I know :)

I am fire
Sometimes I burn slow and sultry
Seducing you with flickering fingers
On cold nights I dance and laugh
Giving warmth to the heart, body, and soul
However, when left to my own devices
I turn into a raging inferno
Desiring to consume, control and overpower
Making other bend to my will
My resolution is unwavering
But hidden deep within is fear
My own strength terrifies me
I search for the one to calm me
Who understands my fury
The One who does not run when I rage

You are water
Your thundering on the shore is mesmerizing
On hot days you quench thirst
And all are drawn to your serene surface
You are slow to anger, but when stirred
Your fury is frightening
All are crushed under your waves
However, you are easily calmed
And once again return to serenity
You are placid and slow moving
You search for the one to make you boil
Who understands your fury
The one who breaks the boredom of your glass surface

Fire cannot live without water
Water cannot live without fire
I make you boil with passion
You are the only one who calms me
Rarely does our fury collide
But when it does others run in fear
Sometimes your calmness stifles me
Occasionally my roaring annoys you
We are opposite
You and I
But our goals are the same
Harmony is what we desire most
To achieve that we need each other
We need the differences to balance each other
In the end, I cannot live without you
And, I hope, you cannot live without me.

Kitty Ferguson
Oct. 2001, for our first anniversary

From the depths

Ok, after that funny one, I have to share my most depressing poem. It tries to convey the thoughts that go through my head when I am depressed. Thank god for drugs! lol

I cannot move
I cannot leave this room
Every limb feels like stone
I cannot move one bone
No thought will form
So no hope can be born
I nestle deep in my womb of misery
My blanket warm and heavy
Part of me loves to languish
In this terribly sweet anguish

Children stumble around me
They make sounds of gaiety
At least that’s what it seems to me
But I could be having half lucid dreams
Through the haze I realize these children are mine
That they have been there for quite some time

However, I cannot move
I cannot leave this room

I hear the frenzied chatter escalate
They probably think they are too late
That I have long gone
To that land far beyond

But wait!

I feel a spark
Out here in the dark
I do not know what motivates me
To throw off the blanket of misery
But I start to crawl up through the mud
Drawing ever closer to the distant sun
I exhume from my self imposed grave
And feel no longer enslaved
I have clambered up from the depths
And now force myself to take a few breaths
For a moment I lay there waking
With my whole body quaking
The demon is temporarily at rest
For my children, this is best
But someday soon
I will again be not able to move
Not able to leave my room

Kitty Ferguson 2004

Kitty Sue and Jeremy Joe

You may wonder where the name Kitty Sue comes from. I wrote this poem in 2002. It is meant to be a funny joke that is read with a sing songy hick voice. So, imagine the most hickified white trash setting and voice you can, then read this:

I woke up one morning
With a funny little feelin’
Like hot jumpin beans
In the seat of my jeans
I didn’t know what it was
So I got up to find Granny Christa
I found her in the kitchen
Pluckin’ the chickins’
“Granny, I got a question
‘Bout a funny little feelin’”
She gave me a knowin’ grin
And waved me to come on in
“Pull up a chair Kitty Sue
Been meanin to talk with you”
Just when she was about to talk
The chickens began to squawk
I turned round right quick
Almost tripped over a chick!
And there was my old doc
Who’s almost as dumb as a rock
My granny waved at thim
“Come on over Doc Eastham
Kitty Sue’s got a question for you
Please see what you can do”
With one last wink
My granny waddled to the sink
“What’s on your mind Kitty Sue?
What can I do for you?”
I told my doc everythin’
All about my funny little feelin
How it feels like jumpin beans in my jeans
And makes me want to get right mean
It makes me feel all antsy
Like our sheep names Nancy
Doc just listened to me
Then asked me to sit on his knee
“I know what you need Kitty Sue
I got just the thing for you”
he pulled out his prescription pad
Got an OK from dear old dad
He told me what I needed to hear
Whispered it right in my ear
“you need to find a Mandingo
Jeremy Joe’s the only one I know
He’ll know just what to do
Now, go on, get with you!”
So I went out on a quest
Searchin east and searchin west
When I came upon a beautiful sight!
Somethin more than just alright
The most glorious trailer I ever seen!
Had to be a double wide airstream
It was all shiny and purdy
Why, it almost blinded me!
and then the door slowly opened
And lo and behold, it was a man!
The purdiest man I ever saw
His wife beater was actually white
And his wranglers had no holes
His snake skin boots looked real
And his rodeo champion belt buckle
Shown in the mornin sun
I called out “I’m lookin for Jeremy Joe
The one with the Mandingo
Do you know where he might be?
Doc wants him to deal with me”
He just smiled a right big grin
And waved me to come to him
My hands started to sweat
He was the handsomest man I ever met
He helped me up into his trailer
Said he knew he’d see me sooner rather than later
That’s when my world began to change
In that sweet little home on the range
Jeremy Joe showed me things I never thought of
And that’s when I fell in love
I knew why I needed Jeremy Joe
He had the biggest Mandingo
In all of Pokino
Now, when I wake up in the morning
With a funny little feelin
I know just where to go
I know I need a Mandingo

Kitty Ferguson
5 – 02